It's January...and boy where did I put my resolutions?!

2009 Resolutions

(now where did I put those?!)

...or something like that...with me you "really" don't know what'cha gettin'!

So...it is more than midway through January and I'm just now posting my resolutions...I really wanted to get them out on the information Highway no later than the 1st of January...and lo' and behold...life kept happenin'...left...right and sideways...(hmmm...does left + right = sideways?!)

I did one of my Loooooooooooooog runs last night...tryin' to catch my Okinawan 2009 marathon dream...and it got my wheels a spinnin'.....my legs on fire...my mind busy with so much filtered and un-filtered data...processing everything was not a problem...I had plenty of time to reflect on this past year...the ups and downs of 2008...things I wanted to remember...things I didn't...those pesky things kept sneaking in my thoughts...

as I climbed those f*%pp#*g endless hills of Kitinakagusuku...on up to Kadena-cho...I had a strategy on how I approached each hill...every time a hill would beat me down...I would think of the most rigid...powerful...strict...tough...indian I knew....my daddy-san...and I could for an instance see his face at the top...cheering me on...with the all the emotion he could muster...which is not a lot...inspired me none-the-less....and it goes on like that...anytime I get stuck in a pickle and I "NEED" to be tough...his face is almost tangible...almost...

(please note..this is me being randomly random...as usual) :-)

Me..myself... and my inner Diva...seem to think too much...I'm a mom....a stay at home mom which in itself is the 8th wonder of the World...who is learning who she is everyday...and who she wished she was everyday... I'm strong...weak...smart..clueless...loveable...rigid...strict..silly...protective...worried...friendly...

sisterly... a stranger...useless...helpful...poingnant...

ghetto (me being ghetto below..he he he)

even if it is wanna-be ghetto...;-)...wine-o...fuddy-duddy...winner...2nd place-er (not loser *wink*)...indifferent...

Lover...wifey

mama...

Tritia

(which only rhymes with "militia"...who always had to correct her teacher on the pronunciation....blah..blah...blah...still bitter...he he he )



I want to learn how to play a guitar...I should just pick up the gee-tar....

I am always lookin' for a new hair-style...I should be glad to have hair...


I'm still lookin' for that "perfect" pair of shoes...I should be grateful for the 50ish pairs I have...

I want to become a master seamstress...but don't make the time...

You break it...I wanna fix it...even if you didn't ask

I want to help...but end up being bossy

Good intention's right?!

I've had shed many tears this past year...of frustration and regret...

I need to let go of the things said in anger...and even after the apology...not dwell...it only brings negative energy...

I want to take things as they come...and before I strike out in either direction...take what I have learned from my life so far...and apply it...in a "positive" energy...

I GIVE...not to receive...but just for the sheer happiness of "GIVING"...it makes me feel good!

By nature...I'm happy...and as I age...I feel "that certain" happiness can lose its luster....BUT as each year winds down...I gear up to make things re-gain the shiny glow of hope of what another year of wisdom will bring..and I put that in my pocket as a secret to share with whomever will listen...

I'm a feel-er...I "feel" that GoD has placed me in my particular life for a reason...to be compassionate...to care...to learn...to live...and to help...even if it is socially...

I root for the underdog in a fight...every time...

I want to give my earnings to the homeless...(but yeah...I'm a stay at home mom..no diner-o)

I want to find loving and healthy homes for the kids who are left behind...(my sister wants to house all of them..yeah...we're made from the same stock!)

I want to love on the un-loved...but sometimes too cautious...b/c life is like that...

I want to be a rebel... but I suppose I'll only be one in "theory"...

I make faces that aren't the prettiest...but the kids eat em' up!

I've always wanted green eyes...and God gave them to me in my Kent-O Bent-O...

I've always wanted Curly hair...and GoD gave them to me through my daughter....

I've always wanted to see how my father was as a tender child...and God gave me my son...

I've always wanted to travel...God blessed me with the Okinawan beaches...

(driving from Amarillo to San Antonio is not considered traveling *ha*..Ju-bee..you got my back on this one?!)

I spent my 2008 donning the expression below.....

A crinkled brow...so much so...lil' Sophia would mimic me and ask me why I was making this face....and that made me stop and think....and I crinkled my brow again...and said I don't know... I really don't need these extra wrinkles...I need to stop crinkling... I was using this expression when I was thinking....listening....pondering...driving w/o my sunglasses...using this face too much!

So I'm diligently trying not to use this face as much (the one above)....

And there is NO looking back...as the below picture shows....

I choose not to look back and see what I would of done differently...or what I should of said...blah...blah... blah...no more...I'll take things with ease...and MOVE on...GoD help me not to be a dweller...it's a lonely place...fo' sho'!

I want to be able to throw my head back in laughter as many times as I can....a new challenge...

to enjoy the littlest of things...without being in rush... just enjoy the silence...enjoy the clatter...enjoy the whisper...enjoy the scatter...enjoy the now...not the latter...just take time to inhale the good...and exhale the bad....

Just throw your head back and laugh like a giddy child...un-touched with life's realities...

Me throwing back my head...(showing my kidney beans...aka..my nostrils)

Belly laughing...

I want to embrace who I am...I want to build on the positive and put aside the negative....

I want to learn how to put down the heavy load and know that GOD is on my side....

I want to look at my husband and gather strength to do what is right...which is apologize when I'm wrong....

I want to see my children as children and not adults who should know better....I've told you a thousand times...they give me all the patience in the world...and I should reciprocate...I shall reciprocate...

I want my house happy...fun...silly...mellow...lovey...safe...cozy...carefree...hyper...indulgent (to a point)...safe haven...lil' crypt of LOVE!

Where...daddy-san....Kai-san...Sophia-san...and Mama-san...like to gather and live like da' G' unit ought to live...

ME

The complex-it-tees...(is that a word...and boy did I make up a new spelling for it!) of me!

Me is me...is me... is me...and believe "me"...I'm still trying to figure out "me"....

(so be patient with me!)

I want to live "me" life as best as "me's" can...

So I am hoping 2009 is a blessed one for me and you...my family and friends!

I hope our love for each other grows...family and friendship...know that I think about you all...here and there...all the time...in snip-its...when a song comes on...when I'm running...when I'm driving...and know that I'm thinking only positive thoughts...about you!

TtodaNEWbeginningsG

For those of you who have asked what I have on my I-pod for running music here goes:

Top 11 UP-BEAT song's on my I-pod right now:

1. Hot N Cold - Katy Perry

2. Live Your Life - T.I

3. Single Ladies - Beyonce

4. Human - The Killers

5. Beautiful- Akon

6. Love Lockdown- Kanye West

7. Sober - Pink

8. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

9. American Boy -Estelle

10. Rhinestone Cowboy- Ingrid Lucia

11. Solsbury Hill - Peter Gabriel

Top 11 MELLOW songs...for those type of days...:

1. If I Were a Boy - Beyonce (and the one she sings with R. Kelly not out yet)

2. Gravity - John Mayer

3. Lucky - Jason Mraz

4. The Good Times are Killing Me- Modest Mouse

5. Burn one Down- Ben Harper

6. Play - Flunk

7. All of these things that I've done- The Killers

8. You're Beautiful - James Blunt

9. And You Give- Matthew Barber

10. You and Me- Matthew Barber

11. Gotta Have You- The Weepies

TtodaI-podlovin'G